So thanksgiving week is upon us, which can be exciting for some and can be dreadful for others.
In my family, Thanksgiving was never really something that we celebrated. Being in the US, it seems to be something that everybody partakes in and this year we will all be in San Francisco (where my brother lives) to celebrate.
I am looking forward to the holiday since it is all about giving thanks, being grateful for what you have and spending time with family.
Holidays can also be challenging as they can bring up feelings of loneliness, old wounding and comparison. This is not necessarily a bad thing...when we confront things that trigger us, we are able to move through them instead of continue to hold onto them.
So as you go into this holiday season, look at it as an opportunity to grow and learn, and to release some of things that may have been holding you back this year.
Some useful tips to maximize your holiday.Put your phone away - I know, I know it can feel like a 5th limb sometimes but it is robbing you of being present and experiencing things around you. Don't zone out on your phone while at the dinner table with your family. Listen to what they have to say and make eye contact when someone is speaking. Encourage everyone to put their phones away and see how much more the engagement and laughter increases.
Talk about things that matter - if you are anything like me, your family lives in different places and we don't all get to be around each other that often. So when we are, I look at it as an opportunity to really catch up. Take this opportunity to ask the people you love about how they are doing, what they may be struggling with and what goals they need support on reaching.
Avoid negative topics - we can probably all agree on the fact that there are a lot of negative things happening in the world. There are also a lot of positive things happening too. Avoid topics that will put you and your loved ones in a bad mood such as politics, natural disasters and gossip. Instead of focusing on the problem, see if you can band together and come up with a solution.
Be mindful with this time as it only comes once a year! If holidays bring up negative emotions - that is okay too. You can change them by starting to create new memories.
Happy Happy to you and yours.
So last week I had 8 meetings scheduled in a day and 7 of them were moved around or cancelled.
I was pissed! Don't y'all know I am trying to run a business here? To me, one of the utmost signs of respect is respecting someone's time. So I was feeling quite disrespected...
I paused to ask myself what was going on. Yes, part of it is that things change and people in LA can be flaky but I turned the finger around on myself to ask why this may be happening and what was the lesson for me to learn in this situation.
Anyone who knows me personally knows that time is not on my side. Meaning that I am late A LOT. I never do it intentionally or to disrespect someone's time. In fact it is the opposite; I am overoptimistic about the things I need to get done and often misjudge the amount of time it takes me to complete them, leaving myself with little wiggle room.
It is definitely an area of my life that I can be better with and I strive to improve on.
That led me to my conclusion, if I am so casual about other people's time, how can I expect people to be respectful of mine?!
So take a moment to ask yourself - what are expecting of others that you are not delivering on yourself?
Being late might not be your thing, it may be lack of patience, close mindedness, hot-headness or 'inset X'.
The truth is you can't expect other people in your life to provide something for you if you don't possess it yourself. It is often that thing that triggers you the most in others, that you need to improve on. Think of those triggers like looking in a mirror, they illuminate all parts of you - both the good and the bad!
A couple simple steps that will help you work through triggers:
GET REAL: Don't be afraid to ask yourself the hard questions and delve into the hard answers. When we have a physiological or emotional response in the body (ie. anger, frustration, sadness) it just means there is tenderness there. This is information that you can work with. Recognize what the other person is doing that is triggering you and see if you can improve on that quality within yourself.
SHOW UP: Initial change may not be easy but the more you do it the easier it gets. You may not get it right every time but the simple effort of trying makes a huge difference.
ASK FOR SUPPORT: If you are working on something or feeling uneasy - don't be afraid to let the people closest to you know that you feel that way. Sharing how you feel often brings you closer with the people that you love. They may be working on something similar or have tips and pointers to offer you that you will find helpful in your process.
Samara Zelniker is a yogi, wine drinker, pet lover and travel junkie.