Let’s be real, at one point we’ve all made a messy mistake. Whether it’s missing a deadline, forgetting an important call — or something entirely different— it can be hard to swallow your pride and admit you’re in the wrong.
What if instead of punishing yourself, replaying the situation like a broken record in your head or doing/saying something you might regret - you used this as an opportunity for growth and and occasion to make the situation better for everyone involved?
Humility not only releases you from the negative thought pattern, it also connects you deeper to the person or people who were on the receiving end of the error. When you can admit that you are not perfect (newsflash - no in is) it allows for a level of vulnerability in a relationship that otherwise may have not been there.
The resistance behind the ability to forgive yourself, apologize, and move on is really just our ego — and often the more it gets in the way, the more we separate ourselves from other people.
So whether it’s in business, your relationship with yourself, or your loved ones, here are my top tips to help you swallow your pride, apologize, and move on.
1. Watch for signs of ego
We love the feeling of being right. But what does being right really do for you? It creates more separation between you and the person who is wrong. Instead, see if you could put yourself in the other person’s shoes and see their perspective. At a foundational level we all want to be seen and loved, so remember that when looking for a resolution.
Meditating allows you to quiet all of the noise. When in a challenging situation there are 3 levels, what happened, your emotions as well as what is at stake for you. Getting quiet allows you to access your intuition and see yourself more clearly. From this place you can be guided towards a clearer action plan.
3. Let go of the BS
Let go of the feelings and thoughts that are weighing you down. That includes resentment, taking things personally, and being harsh with yourself. Remind yourself that when you swallow your pride, you can make more space in your life for positive emotions to take over.
This time of year is an interesting one. It can be filled with excitement and glee as you gear up for the holiday season or it can be filled with dread and deep feelings of loneliness.
In North America, we just turned back the clocks giving us an extra hour of darkness and as the weather turns colder, more time inside.
It is the start of winter, the introspective season, a time where we have to face what is underneath the surface as opposed to running from it. Some of us may want to ‘throw in the proverbial towel’ and put things on cruise control until the end of the year while others may kick it up into high gear to reach those end of year goals.
So, where do you fall on that spectrum? Far to the left or right or somewhere in the middle? Wherever you are know that it is OK and I am here to support you in ending the year with a bang.
Are you still stuck in that job you hate? Dreaming of living in another city or looking for your soulmate? You don’t have to wait until 2020 to do that. You can start now and here is how.
1. Reflect on everything that you HAVE achieved up until this point
Our minds have a funny way of focusing on what didn’t go well, what we haven’t yet achieved or what didn’t go according to plan. However, there is A LOT that you have achieved so shift your focus there. Write out a list of all the things you are proud of that happened in 2019. Continue daily until the end of the year. This will surely help you see your value and motivate you for what is next.
2. Skim the fat
Often when we want to get a lot of things done in a short amount of time it can feel really overwhelming so we actually don’t do anything at all, leaving us more frustrated than when we started. Cut down on what you would like to achieve before the end of the year and focus on the ONE thing that is the most important to you, within the given time frame. You can add things to that list for the new year but for now, use the time that you have wisely.
3. Get support
You know that saying 2 heads are better than one? Well that’s because it is the truth. When working towards a goal it is always best to enrol other people in your vision because they can likely help. People are altruistic by nature - meaning that they want to help so if you share what you are working towards that may have resources that will get you closer to your goal.
4. Work with a coach
Working with a coach is a fast track way to reaching your goals and creating an important shift in your life. The reason for this is because your coach will recognize patterns and blind spots that you are not able to see and will hold you accountable in shifting them. The strong support system will propel you into seeing yourself in a different light, gaining momentum and changing patterns of behaviour that have previously gotten in your way.
Let me help!
Once a year I discount my one-on-one coaching program and the time is NOW! If you want to create a major shift by the end of the year sign up for a FREE intro call to hear more about it.
This is a $1000 discount! See what people who have worked with me are saying.
We all have that one friend that always replies to “how are you” with “soo busy” or “things are just so busy right now!” (or maybe we are that person ourselves). Admittedly, I’ve been there. As an entrepreneur, there have been so many times when I felt like as long as I had X number of clients then “I truly made it”. Which in hindsight, doesn’t make any sense.
I would cram my schedule with work, projects, meetings, events and so much more without taking the time to reflect on my accomplishments or even celebrate my wins. I was just “too busy” to make any time to slow down.
The truth is, I’m not alone. Being “busy” has become a badge of honor in our modern day lives. It makes us feel important, accomplished, on the ball — all the things we want to share with others. But it’s also exhausting to occupy yourself with being busy, especially if you are busy with the wrong things. If you are busy with negative thoughts, acting in a way you think you “should” or doing something you despise, this business will block you from being the best version of yourself and truly being productive and efficient with your time.
Being busy is not inherently a bad thing if we're busy with things that are most important to us and support or well being. But being busy without real time to rest and reflect only leads to burnout and exhaustion. Here are three tips to help you get out of the “busy” trap and find more enjoyment and fulfillment in your life.
Top 3 Ways to Stop Being So “Busy”
1. Reexamine your to-do list
I love a good to-do list to keep me on track to hit all of my goals. But one trick I use with clients is to dive into the “why” behind each item on your list. Before you add it to your to-do-list, ask yourself is it necessary? Does it get me closer to my goal? Do I actually enjoy this?
This will help you recognize the important tasks from the not so important tasks and make sure you’re focusing your time/effort on items that are 100% necessary and in alignment.
2. Set up a solid morning routine
You must find 10 minutes for yourself each morning. It’s an important foundational element to start your day off right. Whether it’s journalling, a gratitude list, a meditation, or just taking some time to mindfully sip your coffee, this time with yourself should be non-negotiable and can really put you in the right headspace for the rest of your day.
3. Don’t be afraid to ask for help
So often we take on way too much and become exhausted and ineffective. You can shift the pattern by examining areas in your life where you can ask for help.
Whether its business, love, fitness, etc. where you could use some help? A great coach can help bring out the best in you and take things to the next level. This could be the greatest gift you give to yourself to help you supercharge your progress.
Remember, being busy is not a badge of honor and you can escape the trap of missing out on life and becoming the greatest version of yourself. I’m cheering for you!
Samara Zelniker is a yogi, wine drinker, pet lover and travel junkie.