To the boy who didn’t message me back.
So lately I have been thinking, to what and whom do I give my power away to and why?
Is it to the boy who didn’t message me back?
The thousands of people I follow on Instagram?
The number of likes I get on a photo?
The number in my bank account?
Yes, I am guilty of giving a little bit of power away to all of these things.
So I decided to take a moment to stop and think about what I’m doing and ask myself why.
I realized that I do this, simply because I always have. I do this because society told me I was supposed to look a certain way, dress a certain way, be in a committed relationship by a certain age and make a certain amount of money.
Well, I’m calling bullshit on you society, because your rules don’t make me feel so good.
And guess what? I have never been a rule follower anyways: in fact, I f*$%ing HATE rules!
We all posses a finite amount of power, meaning it is a limited resource. If we give it away to the wrong people, it can be easily depleted. If we give it to the right people, it can grow exponentially. We all have the power to make that choice for ourselves.
I can choose to use my power for good, like Glenda the Good Witch, or for evil, like The Wicked Witch of the East (Wizard of Oz, anyone?). I get to decide if I want to give my power away to people and things who don’t deserve it (like that aforementioned boy), or if I want to protect it and give it out mindfully and watch it grow exponentially.
I choose the former.
Ok ok, we all know that if we want to change a result then we have to change our action. Here are a couple of tips I use to remember how powerful I really am.
Monitor your screen time
Tell yourself that you have specific times that you can go online throughout the day.
Creating a structure around social media time will help you honour the limits you set. If you need a little extra help doing this, you can use an app like Sense that will help you set daily limits and notify you when you go over.
Unfollow people who make you feel bad
Only follow people who make you feel good and unfollow the people who make you feel bad (even if they are your friends). It is that simple. If someone calls you out or asks you why you unfollowed them you can let them know that you are doing a digital cleanse and it is not personal.
Make a point to connect with people that you love in person. In person connection increases trust and the feeling of belonging. Physical touch causes the centers of the brain associated with reward to activate which help us build stronger relationships. So when that boy doesn’t text you back (or me), it doesn’t matter because you are surrounded by people who you love and trust.
Samara Zelniker is a yogi, wine drinker, pet lover and travel junkie.