So last week I had 8 meetings scheduled in a day and 7 of them were moved around or cancelled.
I was pissed! Don't y'all know I am trying to run a business here? To me, one of the utmost signs of respect is respecting someone's time. So I was feeling quite disrespected...
I paused to ask myself what was going on. Yes, part of it is that things change and people in LA can be flaky but I turned the finger around on myself to ask why this may be happening and what was the lesson for me to learn in this situation.
Anyone who knows me personally knows that time is not on my side. Meaning that I am late A LOT. I never do it intentionally or to disrespect someone's time. In fact it is the opposite; I am overoptimistic about the things I need to get done and often misjudge the amount of time it takes me to complete them, leaving myself with little wiggle room.
It is definitely an area of my life that I can be better with and I strive to improve on.
That led me to my conclusion, if I am so casual about other people's time, how can I expect people to be respectful of mine?!
So take a moment to ask yourself - what are expecting of others that you are not delivering on yourself?
Being late might not be your thing, it may be lack of patience, close mindedness, hot-headness or 'inset X'.
The truth is you can't expect other people in your life to provide something for you if you don't possess it yourself. It is often that thing that triggers you the most in others, that you need to improve on. Think of those triggers like looking in a mirror, they illuminate all parts of you - both the good and the bad!
A couple simple steps that will help you work through triggers:
GET REAL: Don't be afraid to ask yourself the hard questions and delve into the hard answers. When we have a physiological or emotional response in the body (ie. anger, frustration, sadness) it just means there is tenderness there. This is information that you can work with. Recognize what the other person is doing that is triggering you and see if you can improve on that quality within yourself.
SHOW UP: Initial change may not be easy but the more you do it the easier it gets. You may not get it right every time but the simple effort of trying makes a huge difference.
ASK FOR SUPPORT: If you are working on something or feeling uneasy - don't be afraid to let the people closest to you know that you feel that way. Sharing how you feel often brings you closer with the people that you love. They may be working on something similar or have tips and pointers to offer you that you will find helpful in your process.
Samara Zelniker is a yogi, wine drinker, pet lover and travel junkie.